I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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