...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
