i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Randomize
