Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
