So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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