I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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