he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
