i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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