There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
