angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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