So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize