My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
