How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
