do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
