I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
