I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She swung at the pinata with crutches
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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