I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
