theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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