oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
