i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
