i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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