I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Is it penis luge time yet?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
