I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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