you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
