I hate all girls vehemently.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
