I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
