being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
