come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
