apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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