What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
