i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
