Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
