why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
