is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
