yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
