from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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