As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize