Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize