Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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