I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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