his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I need to calm my uterus...
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize