it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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