you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
