im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
