just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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