Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
