dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
