I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize