my mouth tastes like poor choices
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
