Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize
