I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
