We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
