How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
