I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
