guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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