just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
