We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
