Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
