imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
