End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
