We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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