ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
