the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
