New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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