i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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