It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
