this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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