Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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