Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
